Lack of touch leads to confusion when learning the language of our senses, so that we lose this building block of emotional intelligence. The senses may shut down and the child retreats into the mind, into fantasy and imagination.
The young child is learning about sensations, feelings, and action and reaction in its world. If its hunger is not met, or its need for touch not held, or if the child is shamed or rejected for its needs, then it may seem to the child that its senses are not giving it the right information, and so distrusting its senses it shuts them down.
This deflation in feelings runs to excess in the mind as the child tries to use its mind to cope. This leaves the child disconnected and alone which can continue into its life, leading to many lacks in connection, and a tendency to misjudge situations based and sole assessment by the mind.
Frigidity and fear of sex. Denial and guilt around our sexuality blocks our pleasure and transformation, forcing it into shadow where it desperately seeks connection at any cost. This results it lack of desire, passion and excitement. It may lead us to suppress passion and excitement as childish and lead us to control it with our will.
Puritan. Guilt and shame about pleasure and denial of enjoyment. Its not OK to feel good. Guilt takes away the pleasure, freezes it off and tries to control what I am doing. If I am guilty about eating I don’t get any satisfaction from it, or I am not fed by it and want to do it again.
Guilt is the prison guard keeping this need or pleasure away from us, leading to compulsive repetition as this pleasure instinct, having received no satisfaction, tries to break out and leading the guard to tighten control. If we feel shame we are likely to shame others for their feelings, flowingness, body, sexuality, or their childlike stuff
Guilt polarises us, between good and bad, fights light against dark. The more we punish ourselves with guilt and try for perfect behaviour the more our feelings rebel and fight to get out.
Criticising those who are in the arena instead of having the courage to enter the arena ( be vulnerable ) ourselves.
Refusing to be vulnerable, to look silly, to expose ourselves, to take off our armour.
Conflict between our sexuality and our spirituality. Needing to overcome desire, renounce sexuality and rise above our feelings in order to be spiritual instead of seeing the two as a whole enhancing each other.
Abandonment. Cold. Alone. Icy. A result of not having full contact as a child, of not being met fully. Abandon a child and it will die. Being cast out of the tribe is the worst thing to happen.